A Painted Smile Read online

  “Why?”

  She didn’t say a word, only moved her huge purse from in front of her huge belly.

  Jasper and I had been married going month number two and I was still in marital bliss.

  Everything was perfect.

  Everything between us was perfect.

  The wedding had been nothing less than amazing and the honeymoon had been even better. For the first time in my life everything was just right.

  Well, until about five seconds ago.

  It was his most recent ex-wife; the one that had followed him to my house that day.

  Shannon was her name and she was standing at our front door.

  Jasper still wouldn’t tell me that he was married before her or even talk about that marriage. If and when I brought it up, he shut down and said absolutely nothing.

  He didn’t admit to it, nor did he deny it. He just said nothing.

  But I was sure that Shannon had been telling the truth about it. Even though she also said that the first wife had died.

  But I didn’t stress it. The reality was there were some truths that I’m sure that I would never know about him but I was choosing to live in my reality instead of dwelling on things that were before me and that were irrelevant.

  But staring at this pregnant lady in front of me, now if that wasn’t relevant, I didn’t know what was!

  “Jasper!”

  “What Storm? What’s wrong?” Jasper asked approaching the front door.

  When he saw her, immediately he frowned.

  I watched his eyes travel down to her huge belly and watched as his mouth fall open.

  “Jasper, I’m pregnant with twins. And yes they are yours,” Shannon said.

  I looked at Jasper to see how he received the news.

  He looked as though he was about to faint. His mouth was still open as though he wanted to scream but nothing, not a sound, came out of it.

  “Look, they are going to take them early and I held off telling you for as long as I could. They are your kids too and I’m not taking care of them by myself.”

  Shannon concluded her statement and then wobbled away.

  Shutting the door behind her, I turned to face Jasper who wasn’t moving. He didn’t even appear to be blinking.

  I felt so much anger and rage inside of me that I felt as though I was going to explode and as expected…I did.

  I started to smack and punch Jasper repeatedly.

  He tried his best to restrain me but I couldn’t make myself stop or maybe it was that I didn’t want to stop.

  Jasper’s ex-wife was pregnant?

  And she was pregnant with twins?

  And hadn’t I just recently loss our child and was desperately trying to conceive again?

  But then she pops up saying that she is having not one, but two of his children…

  This was unbelievable!

  “Calm down Storm, calm down!”

  “Don’t you tell me to calm down! How is she pregnant Jasper? How? You told me that you hadn’t slept with her, not even once, since the night of the wedding so please tell me how in the hell is she carrying two of your kids! If you’d slept with her only on your wedding night, she would have been had the kids. She’s what, six or seven months pregnant so please tell me how that is possible!” I screamed at Jasper.

  He looked at me, worried, or maybe it was confused. His silence only pissed me off even more so I continued to throw punches in his direction.

  She just couldn’t be pregnant by Jasper she just couldn’t be.

  And who in the hell did she think that she was to keep showing up at my house?

  This was her second time and two times was two damn many!

  “Storm, I’m trying to think here.”

  “Think? Think about what Jasper? Did you or did you not have sex with her on other occasions then the one that you said? Are those your babies?”

  I walked away from him and headed for the kitchen to check on the food but detoured to the bedroom instead.

  “Storm?”

  “What Jasper what? Answer my question.”

  “Yes.”

  “Yes what Jasper?”

  “Yes we had sex other than the night of our wedding. It was only a few times.”

  “So you lied? You’ve been lying this whole time? And she was telling the truth?”

  “No, I didn’t lie about everything. It was in the very beginning of things. When she popped up that time, I swear I hadn’t touched her after that or even recently before then, I swear.” Jasper said.

  I was trying to calculate the dates in my head. Altogether we had only been a part of each other’s lives for little over a year.

  My mind was racing as I tried to figure it all out but the fact was no matter the time, date, place or whatever, Jasper had lied and now his lies where catching up to him.

  I felt like such a fool!

  I’d married a bold face liar and I felt like such an idiot!

  “Storm I promise you it wasn’t during the time that I’d proposed to you or after that. I promise you. She must have already been pregnant that day that she followed me here. I promise you baby. I’m not lying to you I swear.”

  I shook my head.

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I couldn’t believe that he had looked me dead in the eyes and lied to me.

  That night, the one of my grand opening and after getting in the shower with him, once we got out we’d talked all night long.

  We talked until the sun came up and we were supposed to be being completely honest with each other. He was supposed to have told me everything about them and everything about the decisions that he’d made.

  I’d believed him. With all of my might and whole heartedly, I’d believed him. I thought surely he knew how serious things were and that he wouldn’t dare risk losing me again and I thought that everything was on the table and out in the open.

  But I was wrong.

  I wanted to cry but I couldn’t so I started throwing things at him instead. Anything I could get my hands on I threw in Jasper’s direction.

  I couldn’t explain the hurt, betrayal and disappointment that I was feeling at that exact moment.

  I was the stupidest woman on the whole entire planet.

  My mind was all over the place. I was so upset that I didn’t know what to do.

  The sad part was that I was married to him now and that I couldn’t just run away. I should have been more patient. I should have been smarter. Hell most of all, I should have listened to Mama.

  My mind seemed to have left my body and I felt as though I was having an outer body experience.

  It wasn’t until the fire alarms started to sound that I came back to reality.

  I dropped the lamp from my hands that I was preparing to throw at Jasper and we both ran toward the kitchen.

  Fighting our way through the smoke, we could see that the kitchen was already full of flames and because I loved counter plants and greenery, they were spreading fast!

  I’d been trying to fry chicken and drying dishes at the same time before the doorbell ranged. I must have laid the towel that I was using on the stove…a little too close to the burner and pan.

  Jasper ran into the kitchen as I covered my mouth and struggled to breathe. In between inhaling and exhaling I screamed for Jasper but he didn’t answer. I couldn’t see him and I started to panic.

  It was becoming harder and harder to breath and after a while I had to find my way to front door.

  Once outside, I continued to gasp for air and looked toward the house.

  My beautiful house was in flames on the left side. I could hear distant sirens but all I could think about was Jasper.

  I waited and waited for him to appear in the doorway but he didn’t. Panic set in and I headed back toward the door but someone grabbed my arm.

  Simon.

  “Simon, oh thank God you’re here! Jasper is in there! Please help him, please!” I cried.

  I looked behind Simon to see
that his wife, Vivian, was standing there. I was surprised to see them both and couldn’t help but wonder why they had come to visit in the first place.

  Of course Vivian knew that Simon and I had history. Though she’d known that before they had gotten married, she still kept her distance.

  I guess we were a little too close for comfort for her liking so to avoid any of the extras, we only saw each other on special occasions. I’d had to tell Jasper that he was my ex-fiancé as well, but he’d taken it better than it thought he would have.

  Simon headed toward the house and his wife took his spot with holding me.

  I was surprised.

  As the fire trucks became visible, I started to cry knowing that Jasper had been inside way too long.

  The obvious started to sink in and I buried my face into Vivian’s chest.

  “Storm.”

  I looked up at her and she looked at the house.

  I saw Simon dragging Jasper to the front porch as the fire fighters rushed to their aide.

  At that moment, nothing else mattered.

  Nothing else was more important than hoping that Jasper was okay.

  He had to be okay…he just had to.

  ***

  “You can stay here as long as you need to,” Mama said.

  Living with my parents was definitely not in the plans but for the time being, it seemed like the best option; until we could figure out what was next.

  Jasper almost didn’t make it from the fire, but by the grace of God he had made it through. Had it not been for Simon going in and dragging out his collapsed body, Jasper wouldn’t have made it.

  I didn’t understand why he’d run toward the flames anyway. He was a police officer…not a fireman.

  There was a difference.

  The house was pretty much destroyed.

  I was unsure if it could be repaired or if we were going to have to start over but for the most part I was just happy that Jasper hadn’t burned down with pretty much everything else.

  “Thanks Mama,” I said to her.

  Jasper headed out of the room and to gather things from the car.

  “What happened over there Storm? Why weren’t you watching the food? Where were you?”

  “If you must know Mama, I was having sex with my husband,” I lied.

  “Having sex?”

  “Yes, it happened all of a sudden. Touching led to kissing and before I knew it we were headed toward the bedroom. Somehow I’d placed the dish towel to close to the stove. By the time the alarms sounded and we were dressed, it was too late. The flames were out of control,” I lied again.

  Mama just looked at me.

  I wasn’t sure if she believed me or not but she could only take my word for it since she couldn’t prove anything.

  I knew that whatever we were going to do, I wouldn’t last too long in the same house as Mama, so I had to do something and I had to do it fast.

  As for Jasper and I, we had yet to talk about the fact that he was supposedly expecting twins.

  Of course it was on my mind but we hadn’t had the chance to talk about it.

  But trust me the time was coming.

  Once Jasper returned, Mama exited the room with a smile. I was unsure of how sincere it was but I didn’t care.

  My words had been limited and Jasper hadn’t said too much of anything either. I’m sure it was partly because he didn’t know what to say or more than likely scared to say the wrong thing.

  I would have said that his brush with death may have silenced him a bit but since he was a police officer, I doubted that that had been the first time that death had stared him in the face.

  Jasper looked at me pitifully and to his surprise I smiled. My smile of course was a fake, but for the time being to keep from screaming and to keep from crying that was all that I could do.

  The greatest gift that God ever gave a woman was the gift of a painted smile.

  ***

  “I have a house.”

  I looked at Jasper as if he were crazy.

  Pretty much, most of my house was completely ruined. Repairing it seemed to be nothing more than a waste of time so basically we, I, or whoever, would have to start over.

  I had just gotten the darn house and it was already gone. I couldn’t quite describe my disappointment but at least we’d both made it out alive.

  “What are you talking about Jasper?”

  “I have a house.”

  “What do you mean you have a house?” I questioned him.

  We were both on our lunch breaks and he had come by the daycare to discuss the decisions in regards to the house.

  “From my very first marriage,” Jasper said softly.

  I looked at him in doubt and in hatred.

  Oh so now he wanted to talk about this whole first marriage thing?

  So he had been married one time before his marriage to Shannon?

  “What do you mean? What you and Shannon had a house?” I asked even though I was sure of what he had meant.

  I could feel my neck and head moving, rolling with attitude as I talked.

  “I said my first wife. Shannon was my second wife.”

  The look that I gave him could have killed him in an instant.

  The sound of being wife number three just didn’t sit well with me although I’d had a heads up on the matter.

  “So she had been telling the truth about that too?”

  I stood up and placed my hands on my hips but quickly turned around because I feared that I might shed a tear out of disappointment.

  That is it!

  That was the last straw!

  I couldn’t and I wouldn’t accept or forgive anymore of his lies. We hadn’t even discussed the situation about the twins and now there was yet something else to talk about.

  No more lies!

  “I didn’t want to admit it or talk about it because---”

  I turned to face him so that I could see the look in his eyes as he gave his excuse.

  At this point, I wouldn’t believe a thing that came out of his mouth anyway.

  “I lied about it because I killed her.”

  He what?

  Did he just say what I thought he’d said?

  “What do you mean you killed her?”

  “It wasn’t on purpose. As I said, Shannon and I had been off and on since we were eighteen. I had been telling the truth about that. We ended up losing contact for a while and during this time I met someone. I married her to help my parents. She came from a long line of wealth and even had managed to make a good bit of money on her own and I wanted to help my father with his battle with cancer. So, I married her. But even with all of the money, it couldn’t save his life and finally he gave up on the treatments and wanted to enjoy the rest of his days, outside of hospital rooms. But back to the point, yes I married her. She was older, and I didn’t love her. I started sleeping around with Shannon again and she somehow found out. One night, she’d follow me over to Shannon’s place, knocked on the door and she went off. Her and Shannon got into a physical altercation, I tried to break it up and,” Jasper took a deep breath.

  I listened in fear. I shook my head as Jasper continued.

  “I didn’t mean to. I pushed them both apart and she tripped and hit her head on the edge of the coffee table. She died instantly. They ruled it as accidental but I’ve always carried the guilt. It was my fault either way for her death whether it was from the push or from the affair but it was my fault. I didn’t mean to kill her. I never would have hurt her. But not many know the truth except for me and Shannon, and now you of course. But everything was left to me; her money and a house which I sold a long time ago. Though the money is there, I hardly ever touch it unless I need to. I prefer to work just like everyone else because I don’t deserve it. But I did use some of it not too long ago to purchase another house just before I met you. I hadn’t moved in it yet but when you told me that you had just bought your own house and after I saw how much you loved it, well, I didn’t
want to take you from it. So, like I said, I have a house.”

  I sat down in my chair and just stared at him.

  Just then, I realized that I didn’t know the real him at all. I didn’t know who he really was. I only knew the man that he’d wanted me to know.

  Maybe I knew the side of him that he thought that I wanted him to be, when really, being his true self, without all of the lies would have been enough for me.

  I have never been lied to so much in my entire life. In my opinion, it was sickening that one could lie about darn near everything.

  But no matter what, there was no turning a blind eye to anything that he’d just said.

  So, I guess he would be looking for wife number four because as far as I was concerned…this marriage was over!

  **********

  ~Just because its buried…doesn’t mean that it stays hidden. Secrets are never really secret; it’s only a matter of time before they are revealed.~

  ~Anonymous

  Chapter Six

  “You just don’t stop do you?” I asked her as she and her oversized belly wobbled into my office.

  “I go in to have the babies tonight and he won’t return my calls. They won’t tell me where he is at work and I went by your house but it…”

  “It burned down because of you. We were fighting about you when the house caught on fire. I meant to call and tell you thank you for that. Better yet, maybe I should start popping up at your house every chance that I get,” I said with an attitude but I didn’t get up from my seat.

  She just stood there for a while.

  She stared at me.

  It was as though she had so much to say, but didn’t know how to say it.

  “Look I don’t have anything against you. I didn’t even know about you. And I don’t want Jasper from you. I never have. I only dealt with him because I could. I only married him because he was safe. The truth is we have nothing in common, I hate his sex, and he bores the hell out of me. But he has always welcomed me back whenever I wanted him. I guess it’s because we were first loves or maybe it’s because he thought that I needed him to be there for me since I never had anyone in my life to truly care about me other than him. But woman to woman, I haven’t been in love with him in years. I’m not sure if I ever really was. He was my safe haven, my comfort zone and I knew that if I had no one and if no one else wanted me…he would. That is until he met you.”